We all feel anger at times. It?s a natural emotion. Anger is something normal and healthy to feel when someone does something wrong to us or someone we love. It?s also normal to feel it when we witness injustice occurring elsewhere in the world. Feeling angry on these occasions shows that you?re a normal, empathetic human being.
Have you ever held onto anger? It might seem like the right thing to do or feel good in the moment. I have experienced this. We are supposed to fee it, process it, deal with it appropriately, then let it go and move on with our lives.
If you don?t do this, anger can rob you of your happiness. It is impossible to be happy and angry at the same time. They?re opposite and conflicting emotions.
Holding onto anger too long can trigger a spiral of anger, frustration, and unhappiness, leading to more anger and cycling negative thoughts. It can become a self-reinforcing cycle. This cycle puts you at risk of other mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and mood disorders.
Hanging onto anger can have other negative effects as well. It raises your stress levels and your blood pressure. It can cause chronic illnesses such as heart disease. Becoming consumed in anger can even shorten your life!
How do you know if you?re holding onto anger for too long? Here are some questions you can ask yourself. If you determine that you?re holding onto anger too long, you need to start working on letting it go.
Is the situation ongoing? If not, then it?s time to let go of your anger.
Did what occurred cause serious harm to me or someone else? If no, again, let go of your anger.
If the answer to the last question is yes, did I do whatever I could to mitigate the damage? If not, you need to work on that. If yes, it?s time to let go of your anger. If you?re working on the situation, you might need more time to process your anger.
Have I set up appropriate boundaries with the person involved to keep it from happening again? If yes, let go of your anger. If not, you need to work on that and also look at your anger to see if you?re mad at the other person or at yourself.
It?s not easy to let go of anger when you?ve been holding onto it for a long time, and it might be helpful to seek out the help of a counselor or therapist.
